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Jun012012

Dating, Attraction, and Confidence

As human beings, we often feel that our outward appearance is the determining factor for whether or not someone is attracted to us. As women, we ask ourselves if we are skinny enough, whether our hair is long enough, or whether we are pretty enough. Men have their own insecurities as well related to their stature, body type, or premature baldness. All of us have the potential to focus on our appearance without realizing that what ultimately attracts other people to us is something entirely different.

When you see people holding hands or when you a see a couple in love, it makes YOU want to fall in love. People are attracted to love, and self-confidence is just another form of it. It is an individual’s way of saying, “I love myself.”

Self-confidence can even overpower characteristics such as how much an individual weighs or how tall or short they are.  Gabi Gregg, known as Gabi Fresh, is a NY fashion blogger and stylist who exudes confidence in every fiber of her body.  At a size 18, she totally disregards the traditional fashion rules and wears horizontal stripes and bikinis without giving it a second thought. She poses for photographs and unabashedly displays her style on the web for the entire world to see. In every single photo, you can definitely see that she loves who she is from the inside out, from her curly hair to her toenails.

In the world of dating, confidence like Gabi’s is key. Not only does it lure other people to get to know you, it is a reflection of what is going on inside your heart, body, and mind. It’s your own personal sunshine. If you are bright and vibrant, people want to be around you. If you are sad and dreary, they want to avoid you.

Loving who you are is like a standing ovation that follows you wherever you go, only it comes from within.  It’s that feeling you get when you walk out of the barber shop or hair salon or when you receive multiple compliments in the same day. Insecurity, on the other hand, is like wearing a sign that says, “I don’t love myself.” People can see it in your body language, your smile, and even in your handshake. And to a confident person, insecurity is like kryptonite.  The way they see it, if you don’t love yourself, why should they?

When someone is confident in themselves, their spirit can transform the energy in a room. You find yourself wanting to talk to them, to be friends with them, hang out, or potentially even date them. And when you couple self-confidence with traits such as a great sense of humor and ambition, it makes a person even more attractive.

The old cliché, “You have to love yourself before someone can love you,” is implicit in the concept of self-confidence.  A person who doubts their beauty and ability to be loved, sends a warning for secure suitors to stay away. Healthy, self-assured individuals are looking for potentials mates who are just as secure as they are. Whether you are in a relationship or looking, don’t dismiss the role of self-confidence in love and happiness. Finding or maintaining love starts with the belief that you are worthy of love. If you believe it, I guarantee you that other people will as well.

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Reader Comments (2)

I loved your article. There is no doubt that if a person has no confidence that you can see it for example as you mentioned about the handshake of the person
Or a person's smile.

Thanks for the article.

June 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHAIM

HELLO !
I agree with what you say certainly can feel with a man standing there in front of you have confidence as you wrote you can tell by shaking hands or whether the person standing in front of you looks at you eyes wide and has a lot of ways to find out,
Wonderful article.
Information How To Gain Self Confidence

July 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHAIM

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