Breaking Up With a Friend

Breaking up is never easy. But when it is with a friend, it can sometimes be even more difficult. Not everyone you meet is meant to be in your life forever and that is a tough lesson to learn. But perhaps, it is the most important lesson to learn.

Sometimes you have a completely different mindset than the people around you. When those mindsets collide, the pieces cannot be picked up and put back together again. Regardless of how long you have known them or how much you have been through, there is no way to continue with the exact same friendship. It can never be the same.

If you are interested in growing in any area of your life, you can't surround yourself with people who don't have a growth mindset. That's like a cheetah being friends with a snail. One person will want to talk about the miles they ran while the other talks about the inches they crawled. At some point, the conversation gets old. The view of the mountains is so different from the sidewalk.

You will grow, and they will not. You will become the ivy, and they will become the house. And you, with your ideas and goals and dreams, will begin to grow in all different directions and spaces. And they will resent you for having done so.

We may think that what we have is a friendship, when instead we have a power struggle that has never been even. The relationship is more reminiscent of a parent and child, instead of a friend and a friend. One person is living life, without a clear direction or purpose, and without an understanding of how they are accountable for their choices and actions. The other person, who creates clear and consistent boundaries, takes responsibility for everything they do and say, and lives life with a purpose --- is us.

The two cannot coexist forever. At some point, the friendship has to come to an end. One person continues as the snail, the other as the cheetah. Despite what is lost, the cheetah never becomes the snail, and the snail never becomes the cheetah.