Dating Profiles That Suck

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 Dating profiles that suck

Writing your own online dating profiles can be challenging. It's hard to figure out exactly what you should include and what you should leave out.

The following is an actual online dating profile from a woman on a popular site. Nothing, including the grammar and spelling, has been changed. Please brace yourself and start reading:

 

HELLO EVERYONE... (INSERT A BIG SMILE HERE...)

I am looking for a down to earth brother but with a lot of attitude.. THIS WOMAN LIKES A MAN THAT IS A MAN.. I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT NEEDS TO WEAR A DRESS..Looking for a MATURE man to step up to the plate..but if you can not pick up the bat or lack the skills of the game.. please do not step up to my mound.. I am looking for excellent team members only... .. A wonderful team player.. I am a scorpio woman and can give only one man 100% of me and my time..Only the serious men need to apply. If you are an attentive brother then please give me a shout. but be ready for what you ask for because YOU WILL GET IT.. IN THIS BALL PARK ALL THAT GLITTERS TRULY IS NOTHING BUT GOLD. HUMBLE BUT NON THE LESS STRAIGHT UP GOLD... SMILE

Sigh. Where do I begin. I guarantee you that this woman complains to her friends that she can’t find any decent, quality men online. I wonder why?

Whenever you write a dating profile, you want to convey specific characteristics to your readers that allow them to get a feeling for the kind of person you are. For example, you want them to know who you are. Are you funny or adventurous? Are you caring or generous? Do you love to laugh or travel? Here are some adjectives that describe what I know about this woman - she is demanding, judgmental, and has dating tunnel vision. In other words, she is looking for a very specific type of person... 3 in 500 million.

She said, "I am looking for a down to earth brother with a lot of attitude." Those two things don’t even go together in my mind. When I hear “down-to-earth”, it makes me think of sharing a beer with a person... someone who is easy to talk to about almost anything and non-judgmental. Down-to-earth with an attitude…this makes me picture a person who has some serious issues. One minute they will be laughing with you and the next minute they will be fighting someone at the bar for accidentally bumping into them.

"THIS WOMAN LIKES A MAN THAT IS A MAN. I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT NEEDS TO WEAR A DRESS." Before these potential suitors even get to know her, they can expect to have their manhood questioned at the door. That sounds like the most awesome first date ever—said no one, ever! And it’s in all caps, which means it’s really important to her because she felt the need to scream it to us in our very first introduction to who she is.

Men who share their feelings, communicate, and are sensitive will not be responding to this message. What happens when a sensitive topic is brought up or God forbid, they shed a tear in front of THIS WOMAN? Will she respond with, “Man up!!” This is not a person who sounds like they can deal with any other type of man except for one who wears jeans, kicks puppies, and flexes his muscles as he walks down the street.

No one wants to have to prove their manhood or masculinity at home, especially when they are over thirty. A few sentences later, when she specifically requests an “attentive” man, she should realize that men who are attentive are most likely also intuitive and sensitive to what is going on around them. A sensitive man, may not fit into her narrow, pocket-sized definition of what defines a man's masculinity.

With this dating profile, she may actually get a few guys to bite. But not any guy who will take her seriously or who will genuinely be interested in getting to know her.

Come across any other profiles that suck...feel free talk about them in the comments.

For tips on how to write dating profiles that DON'T SUCK, and avoiding the most common mistakes, check out these posts:

Dating Profile Mistakes Men Make (Her Perspective)

Dating Profile Mistakes Women Make (His Perspective)

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