My mom is a HUGE gardener. For years, I watched her in her garden, picking off dead leaves from her flowers. Last summer, I took a turn at growing tomatoes in the yard. I only had two teeny tiny tomatoes. So I headed to the internet for some tips on growing tomatoes. That’s when I saw the connection between growing a tomato plant and staying in a relationship with a person you should’ve left months or years ago.
Under 10 Tips for Growing Great Tomatoes, there it sat under tip #8: “Pinch and remove suckers that develop in the joint of two branches. They won’t bear fruit and will take energy away from the rest of the plant.”
Most of us have spent our time hanging out, passing time, dating, (or whatever else we want to call it) with a person we had no business being with. We stay because we are scared to move on, because we are comfortable, because we haven’t found anyone else. We spend our Friday and Saturday nights hoping they call, securing reservations for dinner, or canceling on our friends so that we can be with them. Our minds, emotions, bodies, and hearts are exerting energy in one direction.
As long as we are directing our energy toward the old, our love life can’t bear the fruit we want. So the next time, you say, I’ll just hold on to them until I find something new, think about my little tomato plant. It may be time to place 100% of your time, energy, and focus on what you need in a relationship and not what you have been holding on to.