A few years ago, I was leaving a parking lot when the attendant just about lost his mind. He suddenly started stuttering and sweating. Why? Because I looked just like the girlfriend who broke up with him.
“Can I just get your phone number and call you sometime? You just look so much like her! Please?!”
Seriously, dude? I am so glad that I have the same hair as her because that is just what I want…to be a constant reminder of a person who broke your heart. It makes me so excited.
I wish I could tell you that I was making this story up. But I can honestly say, at least he was up front about his intentions. He really thought that someone who looked like his ex would ease his pain. A lot of people are walking around with the same heartbreak and they are jumping right back into the dating world. Which brings us today’s blog post:
Signs That You Are Not Ready For a Relationship
1) If the person’s name you are about to date has the same first name as your recent ex.
-If I was interested in dating a person and his name said backwards, in another language, by a stroke victim was remotely similar to my ex’s first name, it would be over as quickly as it began. Make a clean break from the memories associated with your ex by choosing someone from the 7 billion people in this world who has a different name.
2) If you find yourself constantly comparing everything someone does with your ex.
“OMG John NEVER would have opened a can of soda like that.”
“Mary would have sprinkled cinnamon in her coffee instead of splenda.”
Let’s get real. It’s natural to compare a few things to someone from your past. But constant comparisons mean that you are inserting your ex into your present relationship and judging someone new based on standards they don’t even know about. That is not fair. You are indirectly looking for reasons NOT to date them or to prove to yourself that your ex was better. Nobody deserves being dragged into that. It’s a recipe for a disastrous relationship full of resentment. Take some time to sort out your baggage and feelings. Leave other people out of it until you do.
3) If you find yourself wanting to run into your ex with your new date to make them feel bad or jealous.
The need to make your ex jealous is a clear indication that you still have feelings for them. Place yourself in your date’s shoes. Would you want someone to make you a part of their payback and revenge scheme? When you no longer care about what your ex thinks, you just might be ready to get back out there.
4) If your ex called you and asked you to get back together, you would jump at the chance.
Are you holding on to the hope that your ex is going to:
a) Get out of their current relationship
b) Realize how wrong they were to drop you, cheat on you, or ask you for space
c) Hear that you are dating someone else and what you back
If you answered yes to any of these scenarios, now is probably not the best time to explore your dating options. It’s hard to welcome new, positive, and loving energy into your life when you are still holding on to the past. It’s like riding a bike while you are looking backward. It just doesn’t work. Nor does it allow you to enjoy the opportunities and experiences that are coming toward you.
Take some time and figure out why you are still holding on to hope of rekindling something with your ex before you introduce someone new into your life who has no idea about your desires or intentions.